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Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Almost
I'm getting struck by that feeling of being good at something, but just not anywhere near the best for me to be proud of it. The As, last sunday's tournament, etc. etc. The feeling's been recurring alot over the last few days. I just wish I had the time to perfect SOMETHING. Actually I keep blaming the lack of time but in reality I'm not sure whether it's because of that or because I just can't put in the full effort for anything. But that's me? It's always easy for me to commit to something in the short term, but to stick with something for the rest of your life is... scary. Like what if you decide in the end that it's not what you want to be good at?
What if you decide in the end that it's not what you want?
It's so much easier to live in the present. Day by day and just take things as they come. I've been having this mentality for the last... I dunno, maybe 5 or 6 years of my life now. And I'm becoming more and more used to the feeling. I don't like changes, but I don't like everything to be set in stone either. Does that even make sense?
Does it even have to?
I kinda envy my brother. I've quite disliked him for the past 14 years of his existence but over the last year or so he's actually matured quite abit. He kinda reminds me of myself at his age, except that he actually has the one thing that I lacked - that... self-confidence which allows him to dare to do things that most people wouldn't.
Plus he's actually likeable by most people.
Moca wrote @ 8:18 PM
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