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Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Playtime has ended
You know you did something wrong. Nobody's really acting the same anymore. It's a result of your interactions with them, something that's quite... inevitable. You feel you caused all this and now you feel like you need to do something about it. Most people won't say much about it, won't even let you know that anything's changed but you can sense it. And it's eating you ever so...
Fuck it.
Like you can.
How they want to live isn't my problem. Especially not this year. I don't have the time nor energy to resolve all this. I'm not even sure if i really want to.
Coward.
No, i'm just being rational. There'll be a time and place for all this to be settled, just not now. I need to focus on the things that matter the most. And that much i am sure of. And while it sucks to remain in this state concerning all of them it's just too bad. It may or may not have been my fault, I believe it is partially but that's not the point. It doesn't matter now.
Let the world settle it's own problems. I'll deal with mine.
You know you can't. You 'care' too much. And i say 'care' because you know it's not born out of any genuine concern for people's well-being in general, but yet another one of your ulterior selfish motives.
I don't know that. Why it affects me so much that is. Does it matter? The end's the same whether i act upon it or not. If it keeps everyone happy what's so wrong about it?
So you say.
... Why the fuck am i talking to myself.
Moca wrote @ 11:22 PM
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