::AO1D - RJC
::RJC - '07
::Andrew Mcmahon - Jack's Mannequin
::Brooke - RJC
::Linus - RJC
::Michelle - RJC
::Rachel - RJC
::Wang Ling
::Wang Ting - RJC
::Wei Ren - RJC
::Xinrui - RJC
::QC - comic
::Girlsarepretty - 'comic'
::Ctrl-alt-del - comic
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
|
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Oh. My. God.
My family just loves to point out the futility of my life.
I originally wanted to rant on about all the things that I'm struggling with, but i'm not really thinking straight right now and i doubt anyone would understand why i feel this way.(after all, my family simply couldn't despite explaining it to them multiple times)
I want answers dammit.
Why did you create people in the first place. For your own amusement? I have to believe there's a reason why you got off your eternal contentment to create something that will cause you so much pain. Maybe all you wanted was to bask in your own glory or something. Like 'look i created something and they turned out well in the end. I'm good!' or something.
You created us all with a purpose, one that suits YOUR purpose. Coincidence? Why bother? If you created us with no restraints whatsoever, with an outcome that even you couldn't predict, then i'd concede that maybe there is a reason for this world. An experiment of yours, if you will. Who knows if we're the only one.
But why create puppets? Because that's how i see us. We have a predetermined purpose in life and so our destiny is already there. You're all powerful so there's no way we can outrun/escape this, one way or another we're going there. How is it called free will if you already know what we're going to choose, and where we're going to end up? Where's your fun in that? It's like watching a movie where the ending is so damned predictable. You want to know what happens along the way? All our struggles and sucesses, joys and sadness, all for your own amusement?
And most importantly, why do you create puppets that question you. Puppets that want so badly to break free from their strings, even though they know they're doomed to failure on their own. Or are they? Yea, you created them. They're nowhere near as good as you, and can never be. Even the angels wern't. The devil is not a counterpart for you, he's your creation after all as well. The fact that Satan still thinks he can be better than you is laughable, pitiful, even. And maybe this statement has so much dramatic irony laden in it, only you'd know. But yea, simply because they're nowhere as powerful as you doesn't mean they're useless.
The philosophy of your followers is such that your life should be complete once we dedicate ourselves wholly to you. That is our purpose in life. So many cliched stories echo through my mind of how 'I was once lost, but now am found', and 'knowing you has given my life purpose'. Yea, your purpose. Is that all i'm here for?
I don't want to think so. I think i have a choice of whether to obediently be your puppet, or rebel with futility, trying to do something on my own. Should I? Can I? You know, as always.
I'm nowhere near as good as you. I can't do a small fraction of the things you can. But if I could do something by myself, just some small thing. Anything. Even if you were behind it, i don't want to know. I need that feeling of having achieved something on my own.
Who'd know, that even in sin, i could be so original.
Edit : By the way i would appreciate it if nobody commented anonymously. If you have something to say be proud of it, if not don't speak at all.
Moca wrote @ 12:06 AM
***
|
|